i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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