She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
