Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My pussy is not your playground.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
