you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
