Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
