i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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