So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I wish I only lived at night.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
