You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
