did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
