Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
