no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
