Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
