she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
