I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.