week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
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i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
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But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch