are you still at the devil's house?
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
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You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
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I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable