feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
