I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
