Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
