the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
