i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
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I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
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Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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