Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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