I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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