i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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