Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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