I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
