He is like the real live version of the state fair..
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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