am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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