if i can run in heels then i can drive
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
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