So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
