I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize