Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
me + whiskey = a bad person
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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