..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
