I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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