we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
