I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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