i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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