nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
