have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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