there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
