Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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