so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
All the doctor said was why
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
