Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize