Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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