My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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