God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
