actually, I'm a sock model
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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