She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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