Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
