I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
