my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I think people are normalizing furries
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
