I wish I could punch you in the face.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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