i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
