I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
