LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
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I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
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Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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