This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he shaved USA in his pubs
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
