i need an iv and a liver transplant
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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