I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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