at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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