I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
