So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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