it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
