i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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