Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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