Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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