don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
