i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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