god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
